How to Help Your Baby Adjust

to Life Outside of the Womb

written By Nancy McNabb

Let’s be honest, having a new baby is a huge adjustment for everyone – especially baby. Few things can compare with seeing and holding your new baby for the first time. Hearing her first cry, touching her soft skin, staring into her bright eyes will make a lasting impression that will stay with you for life. How can you make this special newborn time as peaceful and beautiful for baby as it is for you? You have within your arms and heart all that baby needs to easily make the adjustment to the world of bright lights, cold temperatures and noise. Here’s how to give the best to your newborn.

Immediately after birth it is optimal that baby stay close to mommy to allow for his smooth transition and adjustment into the world. Hold baby close and allow him to nestle or suckle at the breast or bottle. Turn down the lights, play soothing music and ask the nursing staff to leave you alone with baby, if possible. Baths and weighing the newborn can all wait for the first tender moments of bonding to take place. Daddy’s most important role after birth is to support and protect the relationship and time mommy and baby need together. Prepare relatives and friends beforehand by asking them to wait to visit until you are ready.

Symbiotic Life

The first six to eight weeks after birth has been described as a period of symbiosis meaning “a life together,” when both mommy and baby need each other to feel complete. During this time if baby has sufficient direct contact with mother, a strong attachment develops which allows her to successfully separate and form her own identity later. It is the mother who can best meet baby’s needs for food and touch, and breastfeeding is a perfect way to give your best to baby. If bottle-feeding is your choice, be sure to feed baby in the same special way with quality one-on-one time. Baby develops trust that comes when her basic needs for food, warmth and comfort are quickly met. Respond to her cries with consistency and reassurance. Hold her close, carry her near you, handle her with gentle arms and unconditional love, and provide positive emotional involvement. Daddy’s presence and loving care is also very helpful to both mother and baby.

Meeting Baby’s Needs

It is important to respect the newborn’s biological rhythms for food and sleep. Do not be in a hurry in the first few weeks to get baby on a schedule that is convenient for you. This often happens on its own by about six weeks. In the first few weeks after birth, baby is adapting to his new world and needs to explore it with all of his senses, so be sure to allow him to see and hear things. Selectively show him flowers and pictures, let him hear beautiful music and above all, talk to him. The sound of your voice will comfort and serve as a point of reference that he remembers from the womb. Limit the amount of excursions out of the house in the first few weeks. There will be plenty of time for that later. Turn off the TV, and replace it with baby-oriented activities. Enjoy these first special days and weeks with baby. They pass all too quickly.

Routines and Respect

By about six weeks baby’s sense of order and need for routine is very strong. Use every day events like changing diapers and dressing as opportunities for bonding and communication. Remember, baby is a person and deserves to be treated with respect; tell her what you are going to do before you do it. Provide consistency in how and where you feed her, bathe her, and put her to sleep. Read to her every day and before sleep at night. Show baby her body in a mirror. Give her time to be alone and to learn to fall asleep by herself. Be sure Daddy has special time to play with baby and stimulate her vestibular system by gently move her in different ways and positions through the air. Give baby “tummy time” on a clean blanket on the floor to move her limbs and body freely and without the restriction of blankets and too much clothing. Now baby is ready to go out into the world and experience life. Take her for walks in nature so she can see trees, the sky, and moving water, and to feel the warmth of the sun. Baby will absorb and adapt to the world we give her, so carefully choose activities and prepare the environment to be interesting and attractive, and above all, safe. Give the best of the world, and of yourself, to baby. She deserves it.

Nancy McNabb has over 25 years of experience as a Montessori teacher, administrator and lecturer. She is a certified Montessori Infant/Toddler and Primary teacher and serves as the Head of School at Middle Creek Montessori. Nancy is the mother of four adult children and lives in Bozeman, Montana with her husband, Jeffrey. Nancy is also the proud grandmother of two granddaughters, ages three and four. © 2011 Nancy J. McNabb